Planet Of The Psycho-Sluts (2014)

DVD Cover (FloydFilms International)
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Overall Rating 62%
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Ranked #14,713
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A mash-up of old sci-fi movies, "Planet of the Psycho-Sluts" follows the adventures of Alan Cooper, a lowly janitor who becomes the top guy at NASA. Alan doesn't know a thing about space or science, and he doesn't care. So while the astronauts he sends to Venus battle monsters (and later inadvertently bring one back to Earth), Alan is doing what he does best -- scoring with chicks! --TMDb
Review by Chad
Added: June 05, 2014
I'm not entirely sure what I was expecting from a movie with a title like Planet of the Psycho-Sluts, but I thought that it sounded interesting enough: lowly janitor, position of power, crazy about women, giant monsters... I mean, what could go wrong? When it showed up in my mailbox, I found myself even further confused as I discovered that this was not an ordinary film; this release is made up almost entirely of stock footage from public domain movies. According to the filmmaker, this is a nod to the 1982 Steve Martin flick Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, but I haven't seen that one so I had no idea what to expect here. After sitting through the running time, well... first, the synopsis.

Alan Cooper is the star of the show here, and as mentioned, he has been nothing more than a lowly janitor for the last twenty years of his life. However, that changes when the US government decides to give away all of the power positions to idiots - and I don't mean "people I disagree with" idiots, I mean "dumber than a box of bricks" morons. Cooper becomes the head of NASA, and after getting the hang of launching rockets, he decides to send a manned spaceship to Venus in search of more women to score with. Those astronauts land on a hostile planet, battle various space creatures, and somehow manage to return to Earth... but unfortunately, they bring back a giant reptile that goes on a destructive rampage in Tokyo.

The vast majority of the film, and I do mean vast majority, is made up of footage from cheesy sci-fi flicks from the fifties and sixties. Some of it is shown in its original form, while other pieces feature newly-dubbed dialogue. All of it is cobbled together in such a way so as to tell an entirely new story, and I have to admit that some of it worked rather well. Watching Cooper "interact" with topless dancers from nudie loops while also watching failed rocket launches, astronauts roaming around with a giant robot and a comical space vehicle, and then seeing a man in a rubber monster suit destroy Japan? It was rather humorous, I have to admit.

Now, with that said, I also have to point out that I felt like some of the material went on for a little too long. For example, those aforementioned nudie loops? I think we could have done with a little less of that. Don't get me wrong, I love boobs as much as the next guy, but it's not what I was looking for when I popped this in. The first scene worked simply because it was unexpected and edited well, and the next scene worked as well because, hey, more boobs. After that... well, it got a little repetitive when the idea was used a couple more times. There were a few other moments that I wasn't a fan of, but those may come down to personal taste more than anything; the scenes that worked for me may flop in your household, and vice versa.

Overall though, I'm going to go with an average rating for this one. I liked the idea driving the movie, and it was also fun watching chunks of those cheesy sci-fi monster movies. Hell, where else can you see nudie loops, giant monsters, robots, and killer plants all in the same movie? I don't think that I would say it's an improvement over filmmaker Floyd Jones' previous film, 2007's Bum Man, but it's still worth a watch for fans of offbeat humor and bizarre concepts. 6/10.
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