Blood On The Highway (2008)

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Overall Rating 53%
Overall Rating
Ranked #8,571
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After a gastrointestinal mishap with their map, three twenty-somethings on a road-trip accidentally wander into Fate, Texas, only to find the town populated by bloodthirsty, dimwitted vampires. A brutal run-in with two carnivorous convenience store clerks leads the three to take refuge with the town's only surviving humans and prepare for battle with an army of the undead. --IMDb
Review by benloveshorror
Added: August 18, 2010
Blood On The Highway is a vampire-horror comedy directed by Barek Epstein (Prison A-Go-Go) and Blair Rowan. We open at Consumart, a department store that is having a grand opening. Then all of the customers are attacked by vampires.

After that quick setup, we meet our lead characters: foul-mouthed Carrie (Robin Gierhart), wimpy Sam (Nate Rubin), and badass Bone (Deva George). Bone gets the best dialogue, spouting lines such as "not even vomit could tarnish that sweet ass" and "do you have more tits than common sense?".

The friends get lost on the way to a rock concert, and they stop and ask a hillbilly for directions. He alerts them not to go through the town of Fate, even though that's the quickest way to get where they're going. Of course, they go there anyway. They stop in Fate for gas. Director Barek Epstein is working at the gas station. He is very pale and has blood all over his face. You guessed it...he's a vampire. And he bites Sam. The three friends bolt out of the gas station and drive off without even getting gas. They then pick up Byron (Tony Medlin), who is a survivalist. After giving him a lift, they go to Byron's house to hide out from the legion of vampires that inhabit the town. Horndog Roy (Chris Gardner) and slutty Lynette (Laura Stone) are also at the house. They are having sex when the gang arrives, even though Lynette is married to Byron. Anyway, they all try to survive while the vampires outside wage war against them.

Blood On The Highway is so far my favorite movie of the year. It's just non-stop fun from beginning to end. There's a whole lot of laughs, gore, and off-the-wall dialogue. Some of the dialogue is so vile and sexual in nature, that I'm sure it would turn some people off, but being a fan of Troma films and John Waters movies, I loved it.

There are so many funny and original sight gags on display here. Such as a vampire holding up a sign that reads "God Hates Mortals." Then there's a vampire who is sucked up by a vacuum cleaner. I'm sure that's never been done before.

Barek Epstein is a good indie director. He did a pretty good job of sending up the women in prison genre with Prison-A-Go-Go, and does an even better job of sending up the vampire subgenre with Blood On The Highway. Also, all of the performances here are uproarious. And I almost forgot to mention that Tom Towles (Henry: Portrait Of A Serial Killer; House of 1000 Corpses) has a cameo, and Nicholas Brendon has a small but pivotal role. He played Xander on Buffy The Vampire Slayer, and he plays a very different character here. That's all I'm going to say.

Well, Blood On The Highway is something we don't get very much anymore, and that's a great vampire movie. If all of you liked Zombieland and Dead And Breakfast, you would probably like this as well. It's sort of like those, only with vampires instead of zombies. It sucks (no pun intended) that this went straight to DVD while the Twilight series is raking in millions at the box-office. I dare you to watch this and tell me it's not far more entertaining than Twilight. 10/10.
bluemeanie #1: bluemeanie - added 09/15/2010, 05:48 PM
Well -- "Blood on the Highway" is not the best film of the year; that's a rather...how should I say it...dumb statement. But it is entertaining nevertheless. I agree with most of the review above.
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