Donkey Punch (2008)

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Overall Rating 52%
Overall Rating
Ranked #4,460
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After meeting at a nightclub in a Mediterranean resort, seven young adults decide to continue partying aboard a luxury yacht in the middle of the ocean. But when one of them dies in a freak accident, the others argue about what to do, which leads to a ruthless fight for survival. --IMDb
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Review by Chad
Added: June 27, 2010
Though this is not a pornographic film, there's really no way around describing some lewd sexual acts in this review. Therefore, you might want to put the kids to bed before proceeding. All done? Alright, so in case you didn't know, a donkey punch is a sexual act in which the guy screws his male or female partner from behind, and just before he orgasms, he punches the recipient in the back of the head or at the base of the skull. The idea here is that the punch will cause the victim's muscles to contract, leading to a tighter orifice and a more satisfying climax. The act is a bit of an urban legend, as even though it has been performed in a number of porno flicks, it doesn't really exist outside of those movies; sure, everyone knows a friend who has a cousin who knows a guy who did it (just like any good urban legend), but it's just one of those things that everyone jokes about but nobody really performs. It's also the basis for tonight's film.

The storyline for this charming little tale centers around a trio of young ladies - Lisa (Sian Breckin), Tammi (Nichola Burley), and Kim (Jaime Winstone) - who decide to take a weekend getaway to get Tammi's mind off of her man problems. Seems as though the chap was cheating on her, and naturally, she's a little upset about it. The girls eventually encounter a quartet of horny young men - Sean (Robert Boulter), Bluey (Tom Burke), Josh (Julian Morris), and Marcus (Jay Taylor) - who let them in on a little secret: they work on a yacht, and they have full access to it for the weekend. The gang decides that it would make for one hell of a party if they loaded up on booze and drugs and headed out into the ocean for some serious fun, and with that, they're off.

Of course, four horny guys and three fun-loving girls coupled with alcohol and drugs leads to more than spooky campfire stories, and before you know it, we've got a full-blown orgy on our hands. This guy is screwing this girl, that guy is banging that girl, this guy is swapping his girl out with that guy, and it's all fun and games until one of them decides to pull the old donkey punch on his female companion. He accidentally breaks her neck in the process, leading to the quickest erection-killer in known history. This leads to the group trying to come up with an amicable way to handle the situation, with the guys deciding that dumping the body into the ocean would be the best way to handle it while the girls want to report everything to the police. Things get out of control at this point, and you'll have to pick up a copy of your own to see where it goes from there.

Surprisingly, this is an authentic horror film. It has plenty of nudity and an extensive sex scene, but it is far from a porno movie, and although centering the film around the "donkey punch" may sound pretty funny, the film is definitely not a light-hearted affair in the least. This is a film created by guys who obviously have extensive knowledge about the horror genre and who also know what works in said films. The result is a movie that delivers in every way, and in fact, turned out to be one of the best horror movies I've seen this year.

What makes the film work so well is the believability aspect of it. Everyone knows "that guy" who would do something stupid like, I don't know, punching a woman in the back of her head while screwing her to impress his friends, and it's easy to see both sides of the spectrum when it comes to the aftermath. If it was one of your friends who had died, wouldn't you want justice for her? On the flip-side, if your brother accidentally murdered someone - a stupid accident, but an accident nonetheless - wouldn't you want to cover for him? We can empathize with both camps here, and though both groups go to some extremes, being able to place ourselves in the situation helps immensely.

Another thing that aids the film is the simplicity of it. At its core, Donkey Punch is a very traditional horror movie: a group of horny twenty-somethings head out to a remote location for some boozing and some premarital sex, bad shit happens, and the bodies begin to pile up. It's a formula that is as old as the genre itself, but the formula has been around for so long for one simple reason: it works. Now, I'm not saying that tonight's film is a case of "been there, done that" with a unique hook thrown in to set it apart; no, what I'm saying here is that the boys responsible for the film took a tested foundation to set up their horror film, and they then expanded upon it to create something that stands out from the pack. Once again, the result is a film that delivers in every way and is sure to please even the most jaded of horror fans.

Aiding my enjoyment even further was the acting found within. I know, you don't usually pick up a body count movie with the intention of seeing great acting abilities, but these lads and ladies really pulled through. There's not a single bad performance to be found, and coupled with the fact that the storyline itself is so easy to identify with, this provides us with one hell of a movie. There is one caveat here, and that is the little thing about this being a British movie featuring British actors. Even though everyone is speaking in English, this is the kind of movie that really requires subtitles to fully understand, and even those subtitles won't help when the slang starts rolling out fast and furious. This did hurt the film a bit in my eyes, but naturally, you can ignore this complaint if you're a little more well-versed in Brit-speak than I am.

Overall, I'm giving Donkey Punch a hearty recommendation. Heavy accents aside, the film truly is flawless and delivers everything that a horror fan could ask for. We've got identifiable characters, a gripping storyline, plenty of the red stuff, and a satisfying conclusion to wrap everything up with. Just don't try anything you may see here at home, for your loved one's sake. 9.5/10.
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