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45%
Overall Rating
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Ranked #7,567
...out of 20,725 movies
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At an exclusive, secluded North American ski resort up on Mount Rocky Summit, brutal slashing, severing and beheading on a group of teenagers are taking place and are believed to be the work of a mysterious skier dressed in black.
--IMDb
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Review by Chad
Added: December 24, 2003
Lame. I wasn't expecting much going in, but damn, this was below even those expectations.
Complete Scream ripoff, and made Scream look like a masterpiece by comparison.
The whole plot is this. Some kid got killed there years ago, and now, the skiing family of said kid wants to kill off any snowboarders they can find. Fun. But, even with this lame story, they could have done something with it, but no sir, not here.
First off, we have the main guy and his girlfriend. She won't give him any, but fucks every other dude there. What a slut. Then, we have the developing love story between not-getting-any and Slut's cousin, Dyke, which springs up at the end. Lame, but I can overlook all that.
Then, we jump to a Euro guy they pick up at a gas station. He tags along, and later, we find out he was with the group that killed said kid.... all this backstory told while he's banging the aforementioned slut. Seriously. They're in a hot tub, he's all like:
"I'm not who I said I am, I'm a slacker from Fresno, and I'm a murderer."
Ohhhhhh, that turns me on, fuck me!
"Seriously, like, I killed this kid, but it was like, an accident or something."
C'mon, this is turning me on, bang me now!
"And there's like, some dude up here now, who like, wants revenge, y'know?"
LET'S FUCK!
"Sure, like, yeah."
So they start banging away, and not-getting-any pops up. Euro has Slut held up against him in the tub, legs wrapped around him, pounding for the gold, and Slut has a classic line: "It's not what it looks like!"
Later in the flick, we find out it's not pops, ya know, the guy with the gun shooting at everyone, and threatening to kill everybody, and tries to kill not-getting-any, and chases NGA on a snowmobile. Nope, not him at all, it's...... HIS OTHER DAUGHTER! Yep, the chick who was about to bang VideoGuy on a ski-lift, but stopped when she found out he snowboards.
So, jumping around quite a lot here, end of movie, Other Daughter is in a snowplow deal, about to kill not-getting-any. Dyke pops up out of nowhere, even though just 5 minutes earlier, she had a huge hole in her head. Shoots Other Daughter with a shotgun, she falls back into the snowplough in the most horrific CGI effect I've ever seen. They then drive off in the jeep which had been set on fire when Dyke was 'killed' earlier, although, it's shockingly clean and driving perfectly now.
The only thing going for this flick was some very nice kills. Sheriff got an icepick to the head, eh. Stoner got an icicle to the heart (dying words: Dude, bad karma). Slut was stabbed or something, happened off-screen. Kill-Fodder chick was hung from a ski-lift, which she rides for most of the movie. VideoGuy had a fireplace poker shoved through his camera, into his eye. Chad(!) was nearly decapitated by wire whilst snowboarding.
All in all, avoid this one. 3/10, only for the aforementioned kills, and the hot-as-fuck Dyke chick.
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#1:
Schillinger
- added August 22, 2004 at 2:49am
It would have been better if it was about the
character from the Tennage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
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