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bluemeanie
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Posted: September 18, 2007 at 12:00am
Oh, woe was the state of cinema in 1975 that this film would ever see the light of day. "The Devil's Rain" might be the worst film ever made. Forget 'might be' -- this is the worst film ever made. There. I said it.
Look at this cast list: Ernest Borgnine, Tom Skerritt, Eddie Albert, William Shatner, John Travolta. Each one of them deserves to be slapped in the face with a frisbee for agreeing to be in this ridiculous piece of garbage. The film is about a group of Satanists in the desert who can -- hold on to your horses -- MELT PEOPLE! When they kill off a local man, his son (Shatner) goes on a rampage looking for them. And, every now and again, Oscar winner and the formerly great Ernest Borgnine appears and disappears in a cloud of cheap colored smoke. The whole idea is that Ernest Borgnine, aka Leader of the Satanists, is looking for a special Satanic book and will do anything in his power (or lack thereof) to possess it. How amusing when great actors are reduced to this rubbish.
What an absolute piece of shit this film was. No wonder you've never heard of it. Hell, I had never heard of it until I saw it at Best Buy for $3.99. Then, after seeing it, I was browsing over Roger Ebert's list of the worst films ever made, and sure enough -- "The Devil's Rain" made the cut. I couldn't agree more. The film doesn't know if it wants to be a horror film, a family drama, or a traditional Western. The dialogue is slow and meandering, the action is just non-existent, and the performances are so campy and so over-the-top, especially Ernest Borgnine, who probably thought he was really getting to do some serious motion picture acting. Blink and you'll miss John Travolta, who's on screen for a split second, though he is given top billing with everyone else. Not even William Shatner can save this film, and before you know it, he's melting just like every other person in this picture.
If the show "Mystery Science Theatre 3000" were still around, I am sure "The Devil's Rain" would have eventually made it onto their screen. It's just as bad, if not worse than "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" or "This Island Earth". It's a very different kind of awful, because you have talented people who are making it awful. "The Devil's Rain" is the worst motion picture I have seen in the long time I have been watching motion pictures.
0/10.
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Crispy
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Posted: September 18, 2007 at 2:02pm
Why hasn't any of us reviewed Santa Claus Conquers the Martians? We have no excuse
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bluemeanie
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Posted: September 18, 2007 at 2:42pm
We sure don't. If no one else claims it, I would be more than willing.
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Edd
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Posted: September 18, 2007 at 2:45pm
Also remember to watch "Manos: The Hands Of Fate"
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bluemeanie
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Posted: September 18, 2007 at 5:07pm
"Manos: The Hands of Fate" is possibly the greatest motion picture in the history of great motion pictures.
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Tristan
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Posted: September 18, 2007 at 7:28pm
Isn't that supposed to be one of the worst movies of all time?
If it's the one I'm thinking of.
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bluemeanie
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Posted: September 19, 2007 at 1:05am
I was being sarcastic. You are correct. Baaaaaaaaaaaad.
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